Legal & Accessibility

1. This is fiction

Beanwater Labs is a satirical creative project. The company does not exist. Its divisions, operating companies, subsidiaries, staff, certifications, incidents, research documents and internal standards are invented. Nothing on this site describes a real organization, product, service or event.

2. Not advice

Beanwater-derived classifications — including the Wetness Index, the Global Hydration Index, Bean Readiness and every metric presented alongside them — are not scientific, medical, agricultural, meteorological, financial, environmental or legal advice. They must not be used to make decisions about crops, health, safety, property, investment or actual beans.

For weather information, consult a national meteorological service. For agricultural guidance, consult an agronomist or extension service. For medical questions, consult a clinician.

3. Real data, invented interpretation

The environmental data underlying these instruments is real and is supplied by Open-Meteo and Zippopotam.us. Beanwater Labs is not affiliated with either provider. The interpretation placed on that data is entirely invented. Methodology states which is which.

4. Financial and medical entities

Beanwater Capital™ is not a financial institution and provides no financial service. $BWTR and $WET are fictional internal accounting units. They are not currency, securities, cryptocurrency or tradable assets, have no cash value, cannot be purchased, and confer no rights.

MisterDR.com is not a healthcare provider, is not licensed, and provides no medical service, product or opinion. Performance Rehancement™ is not a treatment.

5. Privacy

This site sets no cookies, runs no analytics and includes no third-party trackers. Location searches are sent directly from your browser to the data providers named above in order to return a reading; Beanwater Labs operates no server-side logging of them and retains nothing. Browser geolocation is used only when you activate it and is never stored.

6. Accessibility

This site targets WCAG 2.2 AA. It provides skip links, semantic landmarks and headings, visible focus indication, keyboard operation throughout, text alternatives for meaningful imagery, and respects prefers-reduced-motion. No information is conveyed by colour alone.

Known gaps: the corporate structure chart is a nested list and is verbose under a screen reader at small widths; the terminal is a supplementary interface and every destination it reaches is also reachable through normal navigation. If something here does not work for you, please say so via contact.

7. Trademarks

Trademark symbols on this site are part of the fiction. No mark shown here is registered, and no claim is made against any real mark. Third-party names appear only where a real service is credited.

8. Corporate position

Having satisfied the above, Beanwater Labs adds the following, which should not be understood to modify it.

Products, programs and operating classifications may exist in legal quantum superposition: as in, either, both or neither. Ownership designations reflect the position of Accounting. Legal maintains separate designations. Where the two disagree, the disagreement is the record.

Compliance has reviewed this page and found no violations by approved definitions.